Whytalia
by Gently-BlueLeaves4080
Summary: Hetalia's take on a bunch of stereotypes of the personification and the country itself. And also explaining why things came to be!
1. Why Swiss cheese has holes

**Yep I did, I went and created another story even though I'm in the middle of two perfectly good ones but I could't help it! This was stuck in my head for a while now...Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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One fine day on the Swiss territory, the personification, Switzerland went out to judge the anual cheese festival. It was like England's tea festival or France's truffle one. THe winner would recieve a large grant and a warrant from the government. Only this time, Switzerland had brought his little sister along with him.

Lichtenstein had came along to to try her hand at yodeling. had been practicing earnestly for a while now in secret and wantied to suprise her brother. Though a bit shy, she could actaully pull of the notes flawlessly. Needless to say this was a day of exitement.

It was two boys that caught Switerland's eyes though. They seemed to be gourging them selves in wine. But not only did they seem under-aged, they looked quite familiar. As much as he loved going trigger-happy, he couldn't just shoot his people openly. But when he tried to get close to them the seemingly dissapeared. Vanished. He made a mental note to keep a look out for them.

Finally with the cheese crowning down and the victor boasting a warrant, it was time for the yodeling competetion. Lichtenstien was a bit nervous but she had to do this for her brother, it was the least she could do.

When she got on stage, her eyes were on her brother. He looked shocked but a rare faint smile. Played upon his lips. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

"Waaaaiiiiit!" was the only word the crowd could hear. They were confused, did sweet little Lili say those hoarse words? But even Lichtenstien was confused herself. She didn't think she said that but did she? The timimg couldn't have been more prefect if she didn't.

Turns out, she didn't. The two boys-obviously drunk-that Switzerland noticed earlier walked up on staged. Also he recognized them to be the personification of Iceland and HongKong. One of them got down to one knee. It was Iceland.

"H-heeeyyy...You're prreeeettyyyy, will you-hic-go out with-hic-me." asked the drunk boy.

"NooOooOoo," wailed the other one "You can't go out with me-hic-I mean him, you-hic-have to go out with meeee." He trailed off before collapsing on the ground near Lichtenstien's feet. Froth trailed out off his mouth and his eyes were glazed over. The other joined him, laughing like an idiot.

The sound of a gun being ready filled the air as Switzerland took aim and fired. Lichtenstien, feeling guilty, grabbed some of the cheeses from the cheese baskets that lined the stage and used it to sheild the boys till Switzerland ran out of ammo. And let me till you he had a _lot _of ammo. In fact he kept reloading and reloading like there was now tomorrow, totally lost in the moment. Forgetting how much ammo cost. Good thing the bullets were home-made wood ones. Goodness how much money that would've been!

And the cheese? Well, it was filled with tons of bullet holes that the cheese police could only classify as some sick twisted demented person with a burning hate for cheese.

And thats how Swiss cheese was invented!

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**Well I hoped you liked it~! And I'm always open for suggestions so ask away~! Plz do I get lonely ._. ...So yeah. Till then, See yeah~!**


	2. Why in London

England was pissed. Super pissed. His glorious entry in Eurovision 2012 was voted second to last in the semi-finals. His wonderful football (soccer, for you Americans) was defeated by Italy after coming so close. And on top of that, the G8 meeting this year that was held in America was none too pleseant either.

He had thought of putting a curse or summoning demons to do his work but know that wouldn't work, something or the other always backfired. Plus there was Norway who knew had magical roots too and Russia who was a living demon. No, he something special, far more greater planned. And he would reveal his plans in the world meeting held conveniently the next day.

"Alright listen up, I declare that tomorrow a vareity of various games shall be held in my capital on the Queen's name. Each of you shall send a tribute from your country to particapate. When the games are finished only one will remain...with the gold that is. Faliure to do so will result in elimination and you will be called a loser. Good luck and may the Games be ever in your favor." and with that he walked out of the conference room. And all nations complied because no one wanted to be called a loser.

But there was a hint of guilt in the Brit's mind for a certain Asian country. He didn't actually participate in Eurovision or the Eurocup. Plus he was always nice to him and shared the same passion for tea. He texted Japan.

_'I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Japan. How about you get one of your Vocaloid fellows to preform there live. It may make them more popular in the Western World!'_

And thats why the 30th Olympic games were held in London, England and why a Vocaloid_ may_ preform.

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**Short chapter in dedication to the London Olympics held tomorrow. Slightly based around the Hunger Games. And I'm looking forward to Hatsuna Miku preforming if she does. Maybe now my family will know what Vocaloids are. And yes I'll probably be updating this frequently, its too addicting! So yeah, Till then, See ya~!**


	3. Why the Hamburger was Made

**Aww~ really? Miku's not gonna preform because of projectors? I thought that might happen but I figure the would do something. Like get some one to cosplay as her and lip-sing oh well. I wonder who gonna preform I hope its a K-pop band but I'll shut up in case I'm wrong and just wait~! XD Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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America grew up living around England's cooking. Everyone knew that, but no one knew how inspirational his cooking could be.

England seemed to mix everything and anything so young America thought 'Why not?' Well young America, the problem here is _not_. When England made pasta, he murdered it by putting in Chinese noodles and soy sauce along with tomato sauce and for meatballs, he would practically throw in chopped up pieces of steak. If you complained it was too bland, He throw in every single spice you had in the kitchen. And lets not forget, India-number one spice producer-was still under British rule at that time.

But we're not here to talk about England's cooking, instead its going to be about America. He wanted to make a dish of his own, one that would suprise England. One that represented him. So he started from scratch.

America had a lot of wheat fields so he'd make bread. He had a lot of leafy greens so he picked lettuce. And lets not forget about all the meat on four legs. How else would the natives fed? So he got some meat and minced them and then smashed it back up into a cirular disk shape and cooked it. Then he milked the cows for some cheese. But of course we're still missing the pride of Spain that he brought bake over to Europe. So America then collected some juicy, and red tomatoes.

He gathered the tomatoes and on his way back a little girl part of his 13 colonies known as Pennsylvania told him that if he smashed those to pulp and added corn startch and stuff he would get something called ketchup. But when America asked how she knew, she looked confused and muttered something about Heinz.

Choosing to ignore that part, America continued. Turns out the ketchup was a wonderful addition, he'd thank Pennsylvania for it later. Then he wondered if he could do the same with mustard seeds. Turns out he could! He'd call the creation later as Mustard.

Finally, he crafted it to make the world's fist hamburger, heaven on a bun. And boy, wasn't England suprised!

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**If anyone was wondering, yes I had one for lunch. But I've never had one made out of ham or beef so I'm not sure exactly whats in it. Also yes I had to put Pennsylvania in, she's my state! And Heinz did create ketchup, I did a whole project on him since he created it in the same county I live in, Allegheny. :/ ...So yeah. Till then, See ya~!**


	4. Why Prussia's Albino

If old man Fritz were to see Prussia now, he wouldn't recognize him.

Sure he wasn't constantly in war like he used to be and grew a little (a lot) lazy. But his behavior was the relatively the same. What really was different was that he was an albino. The thing was he wasn't always like that.

Back when he was a nation Prussia had dark-brown hair and stormy-blue eyes. Now since he wasn't a nation anymore and there was no longer an ideal image of a Prussian.

The problem was what if what if Fritz wanted to visit Prussia. As a spirit, he could posses things such as Gilbird. He recognized the bird enough to posses it. But when he saw his kigdom, he was shocked.

With a startled 'peep' it flew away. "Hey Gilbird, where are you going? Flying away from your master is so unawesome." Gilbird kept on going, flying away.

After that involved a possessed bird gone haywire, it's crazy master, knocked over furniture, a huge mess, and very _very_ angry German.

After that, Fritz decided that heaven was much better.

And that's why Prussia's Albino.

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**Eh, I got lazy on this one so make of it what you will. Till then, See ya~!**


	5. Why France has a lot of Pierres

**Aahh, I'm running out of ideas. If I do, then the only characters I'm gonna keep picking on would be England, Switzerland, and America. Oh and India. I have lots of steroetypes on them for some reason or the other.  
Oh and thanks for telling me about the grammer mistakes, they progarm I use doesn't have a spell/grammer check like MWord so I have to it manually so thanks~! Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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Some centuries ago, France was experimenting with pigeons. He wanted to create an army of something no one would expect. After hearing the recent news that America had successfully trained animals to do their bidding, France was inspired to do the same.

And what better animal to use than the pigeon? It could be easily be mistaken for a messenger pigeon and then, boom. The pigeon would drop its deadly bomb on you and you wouldn't even suspect that the innocent bird did. That is, if you lived to tell the tale

France was currentley figuring out how he could make an army of them. He gathered all the pigeons in Paris (The acursed birds had ruined his beuatiful attire with their stupid droppings). Even so, he didn't have enough. A rough head-count showed that he had only 352.

He tried using chemicals to increase their numbers but he only succeded in making a pigeon the size of his head and another one the size of an ostrich. It was still suprising how the ostrich one could fly even though the one the size of his head couldn't.

When he tried to naturally breed them -looking back, he should of done that first- none of the pigeons wanted a mate.

So France thought long and hard. Finally he thought of something. He looked at the pigeons and exclaimed, "You're all male pigeons aren't you!" All he got was cooeing in responce.

France however, didn't mind the lack of responce, they were pigeons after all. Looking at them closley, he didn't why know he didn't think of that before. The had luscious hair, chin stubble and craved for l'amour.

How France managed to find those features in a bird, I wouldn't know but to him it made perfect sense. He was evorjoyed by his discovery and went on a naming frenzy.

With his creativity over flowing, he called the first bird Pierre. Then the next one Peirre Two. The next, Pierre Three. The procces continued till every bird had its own unique name.

Then France picked up the flightless head-sized one called Pudgy Pierre. He ran over to the ostrich sized pigeon called Big Pierre. He hopped on to it placing Pugdy Pierre on to it. France leaned over from his perch on Big Pierre and pulled a lèvre. Using a simple pully system, the roof came down leaving a giant space on the top.

"Come, let us go to Anglettere and find you a mate with all his sissy pigeons. But beware there unruly hair and most of all, there frightfully huge eyebrows, they're bigger than Big Pierre!" France exclaimed.

Then Big Pierre took of with Pudgy Pierre and France sitting on it's back. It was followed by all 352 Pierre's.

When England spotted them, he was relaxing with a nice cup of Earl Grey and reading a novel by the fire. He looked out the window and they were there, just over the horizon.

He dropped his tea on his lap, spilling it all over himself and his book. He jumped up out of his seat, the tea was hot! His book fell to the ground. When he ran to change his clothes, he tripped on the book. He fell, his face inches from the fire. In fact it was so close, that in singed the his thick, bushy, untamable eyebrows off.

And that's why England had no eyebrows for a centu- err…And that's why France has an army of pigeons called Pierre! …ehehehe


	6. Why Skiing is popular in Switzerland

**I wonder if anyone knew where I got the Big Pierre idea from...*cough*-HetaQuest-*cough* Well I wasn't planning on repeating characters so quickly here's an exception for Switzerland's Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWITZY~!**

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Switzerland was enjoying a nice cup of tea thinking back to many centuries ago. Life as a small devolping country had been quite hard for the trigger happy nation.

He had no natural resources to rely on. Every where he looked, he was only greeted by mountains covered in snow. Mountains here mountains there. As if mother Pangea had dumped all of them on him. He tried to trade them for some flatter lands but no one wanted them.

In fact if he was a girl, who knows what would have happened. He would probably end up worser than Ukraine.

But that's not the point. The point is that how Switzerland grew to appreciate them. It was quite a funny story but if you asked Austria, he wouldn't agree.

They were still kids and Austria would still get beat up by the crazy Hungarian. To heal a bruise he had gotten, he and Switzerland traveled up the mountains to get some cold ice.

Once they reached the peak, Switzerland began to collect some ice. Austria however wandered around the small tip. A bit of a sissy, he grew frightened of the height. But being 6,000 feet above sea level, who wouldn't.

"Be careful or you might fall off." Called Switzerland. That confirmed Austria's fears. He didn't want to be on the mountain anymore so he turned around and ran the other way. Unfortunately he had miscalculated the fact that _both_ sides ended as a slope. And he fell tumbling around in the snow in a comical matter. Luckily for Austria that Switzerland wasn't the type to laugh at that.

Instead, he grabbed the nearest two branches off a tree and used them as skis while yelling unkind stuff to Austria. Of course Austria couldn't hear his words, he had snow stuffed in his ears.

Switzerland managed to catch Austria half way the mountain before he hit a tree. And with Austria on his back, he skied the rest of the way down. And it was fun! Save for Austria's screaming.

And that's why skiing is so popular in Switzerland.


	7. Why Hungary uses a Frying Pan

When Hungary had finally admitted to being a woman and moved in with Austria, she never expected have all her weapons taken away from her.

Her sword, knives, guns, all gone and taken away from her. All for the sake of lady-ness. It killed her to think she couldn't protect herself. That Austria's scrawny men had to take care of her. And there were only butlers. Not super demon butlers from England but rather music loving oldies.

And Austria didn't even care about her struggles. The nerve of him! How would he like is she took his precious piano away from him? Not very much, that's for sure!

So Hungary went on a quest looking for something suitable to use as a weapon. She tried a flower-pot but that wasn't very concealable. So she tried a brick instead. The accursed brick was heavy with bugs crawling on it. In fact she had dropped it on her foot in shock. And boy, did that hurt! As for the brick, it was now in the bottom of Austria's pond that was in his garden. The brick also had some very unkind things said about it and it's mother like how she was an adobe brick. Ouch, that's deep Hungary.

Anyhow, she tried out many other various household items. But each had their own faults. A broom;too witchey. A chair;too relaxing. A painting;too showy. She had even tried using Austria's piano but that was a bit big and classy.

She was in the kitchen now, looking through the cutlery. You would think she would go for the knifes in there but Austria hid them all and replaced them with puny butter knives. Austria you bastard.

Coincidently though, today was the day that Prussia would come over to bug Austria. Unfortunately for the albino, he chose to go to the kitchen first after hearing all the noise coming from it.

Hungary sensed him coming with her Prussia senses and she turned around and threw the first thing she could find. It was a frying pan. It hit Prussia straight on the head and he KO'd.

Ignoring the Prussian, Hungary walked over to the weapon she just used and hefted it. It was light enough to handle yet heavy enough to leave a dent it was easy to carry and thankfully there were no bugs on it. If there were any bugs they would have been fried instantly. Get it? 'Cause its... a... frying pan.

And that's why frying pans are Hungary's number one weapon of choice.

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**This idea came to me while being hit in the head with a frying pan, literally. My brother pretends he's Prussia and even though they're nothing alike except for irresponsibility, I decided to play along and be Hungary with a frying pan. Big mistake of course. Somehow it hit me in the head while I was chasing him. Guess we know who the true Prussia is, huh. Till then, See ya~!**


	8. Why Iceland has a Puffin

When Iceland was still a fairly new country, only a few centuries old, he would often take strolls across his rather smallish lands.

Seriously though, whoever named him Iceland needed to get their eyes checked. Or their direction skills if they were looking at Greenland who was also misnamed.

But seeing as he not covered in ice but still cold enough, a variety of animals inhabited his lands. Iceland sometimes went out and looked at them, trying to name them. It was rather enjoyable.

A few words came that Denmark (or was it Norway?) came back to Iceland. It was about how he should find things to define like maybe a national I don't know...Bird.

So Iceland decided to do just that. He looked around for some birds but either they weren't special enough or another country had already claimed it.

"Hey kid, down here." Came a voice. Iceland looked down to see some kind of penguin. He raised an eyebrow. Sure penguins could talk now what? A talking polar Bear?

"Hey, I heards you was looking for a birdy. You know, I think I could fit the ticket." It said.

"Aren't you like Arctic's or something." Asked Iceland. Great, now he was talking to it.

"What? No that's a penguin. I'm a puffin!" It said angrily.

"Sure when penguins fly." Iceland dismissed. He began to walk away.

"Hey kid wait! I can fly see? 'Cause that's what puffins do, fly!"

Iceland turned around and sure enough it was off the ground, flapping it's black wings. Still, he was not impressed by this impressive feat.

"What do you want?" Iceland asked after the 'Puffin' began to follow him.

"I tolds you, I wants to be your pet birdy. Now yes or yes. There will be no no's."

Iceland was quite confused by that statement and shook his head. Then he covered his ears with his hands and said he wasn't allowed to talk to strangers.

The stubborn load-mouthed puffin would not give up however and black mailed and threatened the poor kid. Finally Iceland gave in and allowed him to be his 'Birdy' to make him(?) shut up.

And that's why Iceland has a pet Puffin that's also his notional bird.

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**I'm wondering if it puffin or puffins as the spell check tells me. Anyways, this was inspiered by** _With Love from Iceland _**so I got lucky. Speaking of characters songs I got the Nordic 5 one yay so Sweden better watch his back. And Spain and his Tomatoes. And if you have any suggestions I'll be glad to hear it. This is my most popular story so thanks for reading and all that other stuff. Till then, See ya~!**


	9. Why Hong Kong loves FireWorks

When Hong Kong was a young country, China had shown him a true joyful experience. It was something that the western countries were not familiar with either. Of course it later spread but for now, it was their speciality.

After Britain came along and raised him with China, Hong Kong could no longer experience the same joy. He didn't understand why but he was obedient enough not to question it. That is, till he got a visit from his brother South Korea.

South Korea was a bit of a trouble maker and prankster so of course he would influence his brother do be the same. There were so many things they could try like poisoning China's and Britain's tea. Or maybe trapping them in room and flooding it with poison gas.

But he found the perfect idea when Hong Kong had complained the lack of certain explosives to him. He began to hatch and nurture the perfect plan.

It was night-time in Hong Kong now and Britain was taking a stroll leisurely. He was enjoying the weather here. It was better than the constant rain he experienced in London. And the people were nice to and Hong Kong himself was absolutely wonderful towards him. If he could just get a way to China completely of the picture...

Various thought like that and stuff passed through the Brit's head when a freakish curl with a face popped into his vision. He couldn't himself and screamed a gentlemanly scream.

"Hehe, calm yourself down, da ze~. I'm not going to accidentally hurt you anything." Said the curl.

Despite its words of reassurance Britain's jaw dropped to the floor. He reached for the elusive curl. It moved out-of-the-way.

"Hey, what are doing? I'm over here!" It said again. Britain looked over to Korea standing there.

"Oh." He said in embarrassment.

"Anyways, come over here uh...Hong Kong wants to show ya something!"

"Oh, does he now? Well let's go see shall we?"

led him over to the allocated spot, it was all dark. Then suddenly a bunch of sparks went of in the sky. Britain, thinking the sky was on fire and was going to explode, screamed and ran for it.

Hong Kong came out from his hiding spot, laughing. "That was so fun!" He Exclaimed. S. Korea nodded knowingly. After that they set off a bunch of other fireworks.

And that's why Hog Kong plays with Fire Works.

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**Thank You!, Random Guest Person! This here was inspired by your idea so thanks! Funny thing is that I'm more of an anime follower so I never knew he played with fireworks so I wrote this whole thing and felt like reading the manga and a found a pic. of Hong Kong and looking at the fireworks ^W^. And if you have more ideas tell me! Im Open! Till then, See ya~!**


	10. Why Germany wuves his Beer

**Well this one was inspired by the now Prussian Awesome, **russia fan** who gave me an excuse to write about the German brothers. Too bad it's not Germancest =3=. Also its a bit different from the given idea but I couldn't think of anything. Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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Back in the good old days there were only two types of alcohol, the kind barbaric people drank and the classy refined wine. There was nothing else. But people desperately wanted a mix of both.

So the awesome Prussia took it upon himself with the help of his brother to please the people and make a new type of alcohol.

"West! The people are dying outside in desperate need of alcohol." Prussia screamed.

"Vhat are you talking about? Unless you drank all of it, we have plenty." Germany replied, annoyed.

"Not that shitty stuff or the rich people stuff. They're dyeing for a new thing an awesome drink."

"Shitty stuff? You call it that and yet your drinking it gallons now." Looking disgust as his brother chugged barrels of it, effectively ignoring the request.

"Shut up! You don't know the pains of my addiction and never will!" Prussia snapped. He was now sobbing like they do in sappy chick-flicks.

Germany sighed and gave in. It was the only was to get him to shut up when he was like this.

"Alright bruder, give me that stuff in you hand and go get me some wine." Germany ordered.

Prussia happily skipped away to go get him some. When he returned Germany took the stuff from him and got a glass.

After that he poured the barbaric stuff in filling it halfway and then took some wine and poured it in filling the cup the rest of the way. He looked over to Prussia who looked at him expectantly as if saying 'That's it?'

Germany sighed and reached in his pockets for a bunch of other classified stuff that he stole from Area 51 and China Town. You can get almost anything there!

He then handed the glass Prussia. He took it and drank it. His eyes widened.

"Vell? How's it?" Germany asked, letting curiosity get the better of him.

"I-it's...It AWESOME! I shall call this awesome drink Prussia's drink!"

He offered some to Germany who declined. course then Prussia whined more than the spoiled toddlers on 'Toddlers and Tiaras'. So Germany drank it.

"Nein, we shall call it beir(beer)." Germany declared. He glared at Prussia who started to whine again. Well that shut him up.

Prussia went to the emo corner to grow some truffles. Seeing Prussia gone, Germany gulped down the whole thing. That was so dang good!

And that's why Beir(Beer)is so popular in Germany.

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**This was probably my most historical inaccurate one yet but hey, it's Hetalia. XD! Till then, See ya!**


	11. Why Italy uses White Flags

**Hehe yeah OHSHC refrence with the emo corner. Anyways, this was inspired by **Illusion fox** 'cause I guess she's just awesome XD. But yeah, Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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Italy loved to paint. Ever since he was a little adorable chubby absolutely cute just want to eat him up chibi he loved to paint.

But you probably knew that already. But what was not known, is his biggest enemy, white. No, this is not a racist fic., don't worry. What I mean is the color.

They had a love/hate relationship. He could use it to paint clouds, zebras, Prussia. All kinds of things! Also on a different note, whoever put zebras in a coloring book was seriously messed up. Like the person who called Iceland, Iceland despite being green.

But yeah, white, love/hate. He first introduction to the white devil was when he was still with the Roman empire. He didn't have much of duties as a country so experimented with the color.

He drew on everything. He drew on a certain cloth particular. It was already white though so there was really no point but Chibitalia didn't know any better.

Once he was done painting. Rome came and took the cloth and Chibitalia to a battle. He wanted to show his weak grandson how to fight.

In the end, they ended up surrendering using the white flag. Oops. To Rome, it was an epic fail. And by epic, we mean historically epic. He was the Roman Empire after all.

To Chibitalia however, he saw the true wonder of the flag he had colored. It stopped the fight. His grandfather hadn't got hurt!

He took the white flag in his hands and looked at it closely with wide eyes. And as you probably know, that doesn't happen often. Cue apocalypse music.

And that's why Italy uses a White Flag.

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**Does anybody else think that these are getting worser by the minute? 'Cause I do oh well. Till then, See ya~!**


	12. Why Spain has Bull Chases

Before Spain's life revolved around tomatoes and Romano, he was a feared conquistador. Even better than the eyebrows up north. And better looking in some people's opinion.

I mean conquestador!Spain with his outfit, ponytail tied back with a ribbon and that ass...*drools*, uh sorry.

Anyways, the few times Spain was on his home lands and not abroad, he was, to say, bored. He had nothing to do really and his friends, France and Prussia were doing other stuff of their own.

So Spain roamed the country sides of his lands. Everything screamed passion since he was, after all, the country of passion.

Spain came across a pasture full of grazing bulls. Had he been with France and Prussia, he would've tipped them over but he had no desire to do so now. Wow, Spain must've been really bored.

He raised his conquistador flag which he had tied to waist as a sash. He waved it at the bull wondering what their reaction would be and whether they were loyal to him or not.

If you didn't know, their flag was red. Yeah, Spain had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Suddenly, the bull turned around and charged at Spain. Spain, not knowing what to do, did what most people would do, turn and run.

And unfortunately the bull followed him, zeroing in on Spain's ass. But who could blame the poor bull. I don't know about you but I'd do the same, red flag or not. But that might be just me. Oh well.

Anyways, Spain managed to lose the bull but little did he know, it would follow him for unknown reasons that may have been because of a grudge or just plain perverted reasons,who knows.

But if you recall when Spain fought France and Turkey for Romano, it was a bull that saved their asses. As for the bull, it just had bad eyesight. After all, it's not like the had bull glasses or bull contacts. That's just bull shit. And that's not euphemism for anything.

Well, once Spain reached his palace, he decided that the chase was, pretty fun to be honest. So he declared that he would do it annually in the nice fine streets of Spain with all those nice fine asses.

And that's why Spain has bull chases.

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**Orz, so many ass jokes...But I couldn't help it! Oh well I'm so perverted but who isn't?!(Everyone else)Shut up! Anyways, I figure nows a good time as any to say that I apologize greatly if any of you are offended by any. I'll change 'em if you are! So yeah, Sorry, really, I am. Also, I just realized how bad grammar and spelling is in this. So in the mean time, imma change to grammar nazi form and go high hailed hitler on my ass(Orz, ass jokes). Till then, See ya~!**


	13. Why Greece hangs with Cats

**HAPPY B. DAY INDIA~! Woot~ oh, And belated happy Pakistan~! Sigh, I thought of doin for them but they don't really have official charaters save fot the one apperance in the halloween thingy. Oh well, this one by awesome **russia fan**, took some time to think of it. I'm glad I was the top student in history. =W= Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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After mother Greece 'retired' and Greece took over. Most of the action was happening over in Rome and Egypt with Actium and all that.

Meaning Greece was left out for the time being. Also he was still a little kid. So while still a dozy person, he wanted some of the glory of the era.

His army however, had a different look in the matter. From their battles Persia to civil wars and Alexander the Great, they were quite exhausted and rather than going out to battle, they wanted to stay at home with their family.

So Greece abandoned his efforts to get them to fight with him and focused on a new target. One that he was sure would side with him. And he had no doubts that they wouldn't because after all, he was still a kid.

He enlisted the help of cats. Yes, cats. Have you ever seen the streets of most Mediterranean countries? Their flooded with them! So in Greece's mind, it made perfect sence to ask them.

However, his approach didn't seem quite effective. No, the cats didn't scratch cute little Greece's face. Actually the only one who got hurt was an orange tabby who had his tail stepped on.

No, what went wrong was that Greece found the lazy cats. They lay around and doze all day. And that was the kid's favorite pastime thing. So he made himself comfortable in a sea of cats and slept. And in that moment, he gained their virgi-err...Loyalty, yeah that's what I meant. Hehe, yeah. He gained their loyalty.

And that's why Greece has a lot of cat allies. (But not Belgium, no never her.)


	14. Why South Korea owns all

**Oh Crap-cakes! I almost forgot! Today is S. Korea's birthday too and I had a whole thing planned for him! Urgh, I'm so stupid Orz. After all birthdays were made in S. Korea right? Da ze~. Also I have a lot of suggestions now so i'm filled with ideas! And thank you guys for readin' this shit, I never knew it would be popular! Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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South Korea had a lot of things and not a lot of things. Sure he had stuff like electronics manhwas and the all important K-pop. Yes, K-pop is the best man! And it was made in Korea, even better da ze~.

But on the other hand most stuff were already invented by other countries. We're looking at you America and Japan.

So needless to say, he was jealous. You could blame it other countries or his personality itself. But South Korea wanted things for himself. Period.

So like the responsible adult that he was, he went to a certain company that will remain anonymous for copyright reasons.

No way would the company want to be featured in a childish story like this. The story is worthy enough and must wait another hundred years for that to happen not to mention all the physical and spiritual training it must recieve.

Right, so with that cleared, lets continue shall we?

South Korea practically waltzed into the place like he owned, which he didn't, at least not yet, or so he thought.

He grabbed the nearest worker and asked him, "This is mine, right? This belongs to me, hmm? I made this? da ze~"

The poor worker did not go to college and study the nature of personifications, ohwever so he was very confused and, as an act of self-defense, punched S. Korea in the face. Ouch, man.

Korea, however was undeterred and asked he next worker and the next and the next, all to end up with the same fate and in Korea's case, face. Pun intended.

Finally he went and asked the manager. Perhaps he should've done that first but oh well. Curl bouncing, he more or less demanded that it was his. said manager had no idea what was going on and thinking it was some kind of joke, nodded.

S. Korea howled in delight, for wolves were made in South Korea. Then, still not giving up, he asked if he owned everything.

The manager, now wishing he would just go away and be a nuissence to someone else, gave in to this question as well.

The Asian nation, more than happy, decided to celebrate by gropping China's chest, which he owned.

And that's why everything-including this unworthy story and unworthy author-belongs to South Korea, sorry Russia.


	15. Why Russia has Purple Eyes

**10 more days till school comes around, 10 more days~. You take one day, you waste all it's time, 9 more days~. Yeah, schools startn and with highschool next year, I really need to pick up my game with H.W. and stuff so the fate of this story's undecided... Well, no use mopin' around, this ch. has become one with **Ivan Braginski oJo**, but not the story aru~, (also I found out what G. Winter really is) Anyways, Enjoy~!**

General Winter was the best and worst thing that happened in Russia. Good because of failed military attempt by attackers like Napoleon(France was not pleased). And bad because...It is seriously cold. Like Alaska cold if your American. Yeah, that bad.

Anyways, while people do get used to it, the cold can still do things to you. You could get stuff like hypothermia, which is not fun, and on a minor note, you could frost bites, also painful.

But sometimes the cold can do strange things to you. And when you're a country representing you people's stereotypes, things don't turn out good.

The cold makes people angry right? Well Russia now represented the people's anger with his eyes. His innocent violet eyes like Canada's(who?/shot/)eyes turned into a deep shade of purple and froze into that color. Sad huh?

Well on a happier note, you could scare the shit out people. America wasn't as obnoxious around him and France didn't try anything to him. And Britain was terrified of him to the point were he shitted scones when he accidentally summoned him. In the dark too. Yeah, creepy.

And that's why Russia has Purple Eyes.


	16. Why SuFin isn't GeoCanon

**For the past month it was filled with dinner parties, soda, dessert, and cough drops(stupid kid, if your sick then stay at home)but now its finally over~ Woo! And cousin is gettin married too but since stupid school starts, I have to cope by writin marriage fics. Canon ones mind you so Anyways, Enjoy~!**

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Sweden wanted Finland to be his wife. He didn't care what people said. He just wanted the cheery man to be his.

So annexed most of the Finnish man's land, including his vital regions. And Finland seemed happy enough about treated him fairly save for a bit cultural stuff here and there, they were quite happy. And Sweden's mind, inseparable. And yet they weren't geographically cannon. Sure they were near each other but not near enough. Though they were still close enough and balanced each other, not in the way Sweden-no, Berwald wanted.

Though he got Estonia to 'Marry' them together. Finland, or rather Tino, acted like the incident was a but a dream. That's really saddening, like a slap in the face. Who knew Finland could be so feisty*cough*-Russia-*cough*?

Then Sweden had the most brilliant idea. He was no good with words but his people okay with them. It actually was his accent that made it seem that he was mumbling. So he spent many restless nights, writing. Writing the perfect song that he knew would be just perfect.

Come Eurovision, Loreen preformed the song, Euphoria. And when Sweden told Finland that it was for him, Sweden got a kiss-on the cheek of course. Though Sweden's longing for Finland is true, the pairing has yet to be cannon. Thank goodness too for all Densu Finice shippers~.

As for Sweden he was so happy that he was content with the way he and Finland's relationship.

And that's why Sweden and Finland are not geographically cannon.


	17. Why Canada loves Maple Syrup

***tear* You guys are so awesome espcially those people who reviewed. I don't deserve it. So thx, their my encouragement. And I should be at school right now but...Anyways, this one's by the stellar Princess Infinity and once again russia fan. Stay awesome guys~!**

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Although it is not Artic cold in Canada, it still is pretty cold. Wait, isn't North Canada near the artic? Well that explains all the cold fronts making out with the hot ones and creating babies of storm on the northen region of America. It rained like hell here all summer! Canada's rage!

But that rant aside, Canada has a lot trees. Like forests actually. But you see, when you have trees, you need to water them. And when your older brother steals your water source known as rain, you get creative in watering them.

So Canada, a bit naïve, tried 'watering' the trees with stuff like milk, for calcium; soda-Canda Dry, for energy; meat juice, for protein and shit like that. And then, getting real creative, he decided to put sap on them. At first, it may seem stupid but sap is like plant food made by plants, for plants. Let it be known that producers are awesome.

So he tried that and got a maple tree!...Somehow, don't question it. And Canada decided that if the tree could eat sap, then he could too. You can see the bad eating influences America had on Canada. And when he tried it, he actually didn't know what to think of it. Sure plants and Kuma-whateveritscalled, liked it but...

However, just like how the sap stuck to virtually anything that wasn't hot (as in tempreture not sexiness) Canada was hooked on to the sap. Did you know that it made good pranks?

And so, Canada tried putting suger and all that unhealthy crap on it and let it sit for some time and tried it, and he instantly feel in love with it. He put in everything but he soon found that they went perfect with pancakes or flapjackes or hotcakes or whatcha-ma-call-its.

And that how Maple Syrup was made and Why Canada loves it so.


	18. Why Belarus will Marry Russia

You've probably all heard stories and stuff about how being a middle child suck, especially if you are one.

For Ukraine, Russia, and Belarus, that is not the case seeing that Russia practically dominates. And who gets the bad end of the stick? Why it is none other than Belarus.

Of course, she could not be content with that, not at all. Would you be? So in her free time, she plotted. And that girl could plan! Well...She did get a little help from tactical genius, Lithuania. But it's not because she asked or anything(baka), only because he asked, and persistently too. Wow, tsunder time, huh?

And if you didn't guess Poland got a little uh, 'Jealous', yeah and took Lithuania away, oh well. Belarus was smart, she'd figure it out.

But using simple logic, you could best someone who was better than you. It was like trying to make a worm better than a bird, it wouldn't happen. And it's not like a worm could transform to a bird and turn the tables.

Then Belarus understood. There were a few factors that ignored the laws of logic and whatnot. One of them was annoyance. Oh, yeah, Bela, workin' it deep there.

So, she put her plane to her test. But nothing goes perfect the first time. Because Belarus had a desire to turn her wormself into the bird but the bird could be the bird as well rather than turning into the worm, is this making sence?

Well, by that I mean, she started to stalk Russia but she knew what would happen if Russia was taken down. So Belarus concluded by wanting to marry him. Before you say anything, it worked for the king and the queen didn't it? Hypocrites, everywhere.

And that's why Belarus is stalkerish.

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**Argh, I think this one I messed up and it thoroughly sucked. Anyways, idea by once again awesome **russia fan **Sorry if I totally messed this up, I should've put dialogue, oh well. Till then, See ya~!**


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